Brand new site, still working on it, please blast away

[Russ in Vancouver]

Hi everyone,

Please let me know what you think about my site and the services it offers. Does it have too many "too good to be true" comments?

Tia

[vangogh]

The general design seems fine. It feels like a conservative design in the sense of I've seen this a lot before. That probably makes it safe, though also makes it look a lot like everyone else.

The home page feels very crowded to me. I don't think you need as much information there as you have. Some of it could moved to internal pages.

I don't think there's too much "too good to be true," but I do feel there's a little too much corporate speak. For example from your services page under voice broadcasting


Voice broadcasting has proven to be quite the force in getting a message out to potential customers on a wide scale. many effective leads can be generated in using the voice broadcasting method. Also businesses can use this technology to improve communications with their employees in an effective way.

When I first encounter the term voice broadcasting I have two questions. What is it? Why do I care? The second question could be expanded into what's in it for me and why do I need or want voice broadcasting.

Neither question is answered. Your first sentence does tell me something about voice broadcasting. It can be used to reach a lot of people. That's something, but it's not enough. Sentence two says absolutely nothing other than voice broadcasting is good. Sentence three suggests I can improve communications with employees, but again really says nothing.

After reading three sentences I still don't have answers to my questions. I still don't know what voice broadcasting is and I have even less idea why I should care.

Your potential customers may not have the same 2 questions I did (though they'll likely want to know similar things), but they will have questions and you need to answer them. Always thinking of it in terms of how your services will help your customer's business.

For the most part the copy on the site reads well, but I don't think it really answers some of the basic questions people will have. It's coming across too much like marketing speak.

Hope that helps.

[Russ in Vancouver]

Thanks Vangogh,

Yes it help a lot, and I appreciate every little bit!!! and as well, I really appreciate your time to read through my jumble of jargon.

[KristineS]

I have to agree with Vangogh on this one. There's a lot of words on this site, but none of them really tell me what I want to know. Your About Us page is three sentences and doesn't tell me what you can do that others can't do, from where your expertise comes, or why I want to work with you vs. all the other companies offering this type of service.

Your front page trumpets "Increase your sales leads by 300-400%" but I don't think I saw anywhere that said how you proposed to do that for my business. What I did see sounded mostly like a recorded message, which fine, maybe it does work really well, but I didn't see any information that told me that on your website. I need statistics, testimonials, things that will tell me why I want to work with you. Right now the site looks pretty generic, and I don't feel that I have a real understanding of what it is you're offering, or why I should think it would work.

The copy that's there isn't bad, but it's kind of generic and it covers a lot of space without saying a whole lot. I'd step back a few paces and break it down a little more. What exactly are you offering to business owners. What expertise or knowledge makes you a better option than other companies. Most of all, what's in it for me as a businessowner if I decide to work with you. Think of it as a maze. You keep dropping breakcrumbs and if your breadcrumbs are tasty and/or interesting enough, I'll follow you through the entire maze until we get to the sale. If your breadcrumbs are confusing or boring, I'll bail out, because someone else has a very similar maze just across the street.

I hope I wasn't too harsh, but it bothers me to see businesses with websites that aren't really doing much for them. Mainly I think you just need to refine your focus and put yourself in your customer's shoes. If you were purchasing your services, what would be important to know, both about the services and about the company?

[vangogh]

The copy that's there isn't bad, but it's kind of generic and it covers a lot of space without saying a whole lot.

Yep. That's really how I felt reading it. I think many of us wrote our own copy the same way at first. Like Kristine said try to take a step back. Think about potential clients/customers and the information they need and want to know to make a decision. Mostly you have to think about what's in it for them.

[Russ in Vancouver]

Hi Kristine and vangogh,

Thanks for your perspectives and for your time to read through my copy. Please check back throughout the day if you can, I will be changing things asap.
This thread is such a GEM, everyones opinion and views are well received.