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KarenB
09-02-2008, 09:46 PM
I invite you guys to share your funniest SPAM emails.

Today, I received one that included a sentence that ended with "...held on the 1th of Sept, 2008."

The 1th of September? Is that like the "firth of September" or the "onth of September"? Do we even dare to guess?

Karen

Evan
09-02-2008, 10:16 PM
I always laugh when I get a breast enhancement e-mail. I certainly don't think I need it!

billbenson
09-02-2008, 11:12 PM
I get a lot of people from Nigeria and other places trying to buy equipment. In bad english the first thing they ask is if I take credit cards. Strung one along once for over a month. I had them beliving that $30k in equipment was sitting in customs in Nigeria but I wouldn't release it because one of the three credit card numbers they gave me bounced. They got threatening and threatened to have the FBI arrest me. Then I told them I was with the FBI and we were watching them. Never heard anything more.

Of course I never processed the credit cards or shipped merchandise. I had them believing that the product was sitting in Lagos Nigeria and I just needed to release it to them though.

cbscreative
09-02-2008, 11:31 PM
I'm going to have to think about this one because I get so many I just delete them without too much thought. Well, I do think, "Stupid Spammers, what a waste of existence," but I do get some crazy stuff that shows a total lack of understanding of the English language.

This is going to be a great thread. Karen, your example reminds me of a one liner that goes, "Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an 's' in it?"

the goat
09-02-2008, 11:48 PM
Got this today:

Hello


I am Mr.Steven Webster I am Executive Director in charge of Credit and Foreign bills of my Bank of Scotland (UK) PLC. , 11 Earl Grey Street Edinburgh EH3 9BN. I am in search of an agent to assist us in the transfer of Ј15,000,000.00 GBP (Fifteen Million British pounds) and subsequent investment in properties in your country.


You will be required to:-


(1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum
(2) Advise on lucrative areas for investment
(3) Assist us in purchase of properties.


If you are willing to assist us in the transaction, your share of the sum will be 50% of the Ј15,000,000.00 GB, 50% for us. I will be pleased as soon as you indicate your interest by including your confidential phone and fax numbers in your positive response, this will enable us furnish you with further information on the procedures and modalities on how funds will be transferred or made available to you.


I await your immediate response.


Yours Sincerely


Mr. Steven Webster


Here's my response:

Dear Mr. Webster,

Tell me about it, I am having the same problem. I have $30,000,000 sitting in an account here in the U.S. and I can't find anyone in Scotland to let me transfer it to them. Let me know if you might know anyone.

Thanks!

cbscreative
09-03-2008, 12:03 AM
LOL, goat. I had a similar one from someone in British Parliment over the weekend. The real kicker was the request not to try and contact her through normal means (publicly available contact info). She had over allocated funds which she was trying to discreetly unload. I had a "special" email address so as not to jeopardize her reputation by discussing it openly.

This would have normally gone unread, but it somehow slipped past my first layer of Spam filters and was caught in a second layer.

orion_joel
09-03-2008, 01:40 AM
I might have to take a look and see what gems are in my spam mail box in outlook, in the last month there has been 5000+ landed there. Yes i somehow get a massive amount of spam, quite a lot of which comes though the email addy that is on my domain registration and no where else. Even with outlook out sorting though i still get about 10+ a day in my inbox.

The most common one i was getting for about a week or two and maybe received 20+ just variations was someone from russia or ukraine or similar countries, that wanted a partner, the funniest bit was that all the messages had similar wording, and while most were from female names one came from a male without changing any other wording.

I get literally hundreds of messages a month offering untolds millions for not doing much, to bad we know they are scams, could make a good business moving money for people.

KristineS
09-03-2008, 08:20 AM
I get a lot for male enhancement products for some reason. A lot of the subject lines ask if I worry about being underendowed, because they have just the thing to help with that problem. .

Strangely, that's never concerned me.

Ad-Vice_Man
09-03-2008, 09:13 AM
It's not SPAM in the technical sense, but I once got a Telemarketer that called me at 9:30AM one morning and asked if i'd like a free on-site estimate for vinyl siding. Now this might not seem funny except that they had called me on my Dormitory phone line when I was in College... so you know I wasn't up yet. But Gosh Darnit I was very interested to know how much it would cost to adhere Vinyl siding to the 8 story high rise dorm I was in so I told em to come on over and gave them the address. Never heard back from them.. I was a little dissapointed.

KarenB
09-03-2008, 11:27 AM
Here's my response:

Dear Mr. Webster,

Tell me about it, I am having the same problem. I have $30,000,000 sitting in an account here in the U.S. and I can't find anyone in Scotland to let me transfer it to them. Let me know if you might know anyone.

Thanks!

Remind me to never again read one of your posts as I am drinking my morning coffee...Karen (cleaning up keyboard because she laughed so hard, it spewed out her nose...)

orion_joel
09-04-2008, 01:19 AM
I agree giving them a similar problem you have, could be quite fun. It really is to bad that it does not always turn out to be true. Because i think that 50% commission is quite a good deal, but as we all know if it sounds to good to be true it probably is.

KarenB
09-09-2008, 12:53 PM
Okay, so this one came in to my business email a few moments ago. I debated on whether or not to respond because it had no subject line and came from a free email server. But it also wasn't marked as *SPAM*, so not wanting to appear unprofessional, I responded and here's where it led.

Original emailer:

Hi there, do you only provide virtual work or are you able to meet from time to time as well?

My response:

Hello and thank you for contacting Office Support 911! While I do not meet with clients personally, if you could provide me with a bit more information about your particular office administrative needs, I will be more than glad to assist you in finding the appropriate resources.

Response from original emailer:

i was looking for a part time admin person to come into the office that is open minded...

Karen

P.S. This was my first belly laugh of the day for sure...:)

KristineS
09-09-2008, 03:23 PM
That's a good one Karen. I wonder if he'll get any bites on that one.

Ad-Vice_Man
09-09-2008, 05:17 PM
open minded huh... that could mean alot of things I suppose.

Evan
09-12-2008, 02:44 PM
open minded huh... that could mean alot of things I suppose.

Hah. Yes, a lot of things. Maybe he's a "botanist" trying to run a legitimate operation :p

Business Attorney
09-12-2008, 04:14 PM
What I love are all the SEO experts who tell me that they will put me at the top of the search engines - guaranteed. Often they tell me how low my site ranks for some obscure term, but my favorite was one that told me I only "appeared on page 3" for the search term "Kankakee accountant". Given the fact that I am not an accountant (although I have a CPA certificate) and my law office is an hour's drive from Kankakee in no traffic, that is not exactly a keyword phrase that I would optimize for...

KristineS
09-12-2008, 09:05 PM
I love the ones that promise me 2 million customers in the next five minutes. That's so unrealistic, but I know that people fall for it.

Ad-Vice_Man
09-13-2008, 09:30 AM
I love the ones that promise me 2 million customers in the next five minutes. That's so unrealistic, but I know that people fall for it.

I'd offer them a dollar per paying customer... If they can deliver. instant millionaire... if not... oh well