redoing the text on my website

[huggytree]

My website host/designed did a great job 1.5 years ago and had the wrong e-mail address on the bottom of every page..i had people tell me 2x in the past, but the 'contact us' page worked and i didnt think about the e-mail address at the bottom of the page...

anyways they are offering me all this stuff for free right now..

one of the things is new text to update my website
Waukesha Plumbing - Residential Plumbing in Southeastern Wisconsin. Serving Waukesha, Milwaukee Counties (http://www.waukeshaplumbing.com)

ill take opinions on what i should change

im happy with 'what we do' part

im completely redoing the home page(text)
im taking 1/3rd out of the 'about us' page and adding 1 new paragraph...i paid $200 for someone to write this page and im not happy with it.

here's my idea on the home:

Waukesha Plumbing is not just another average plumbing company. We have a reputation of doing the job right, showing up on time, completeing the job early and providing superior quality. This is why 90% of our jobs are referrals from previous customers.

Why choosed Waukesha Plumbing?
- the job will be done correctly the first time
-we will show up on time
- drop cloths ewill be put on your floors to protect them
-no skimping on parts and installation practivces
-your phone calls will be answered immediately or returned within the hour
-our bids are accurate with no suprise extra's
-employees are background checked and drug testes

master plumbers license #111111

any opinions?

im trying to do the less is more idea...my home page is too long....

just talked to my webdesigner and he warns me about the less is more idea because im eliminating possible key words...he says he will have it redone tomarrow

give me as many opinions of what should and should not be there...keep in mind text is all im doing..not a redesign

thanks!

[huggytree]

any thoughts of putting my photo on the home page?

[Patrysha]

Your copy still focuses too much on your features rather than your benefits...you're telling what you do rather than showing.

Also, I always got the impression that your target market is contractors not individual homeowners...so why the opposite approach with most of your website copy?

[huggytree]

i target builders by calling them and sending them quarterly mailers

i target homeowners by the phone book and the website (word of mouth is the main way i get homeowners in the end though). My ultimate goal is to be 75% homeowner work. I get paid immediately and word of mouth spreads much faster. When i do builder work most homeowners never even meet me. cant get referrals when they dont know who you are..right now im probably 33% homeowner..some months im 100% and some im 0%

i am not targeting contractors at all on my website.

im trying to highlight my unique features...it what makes me different....

im trying to wrap my head around the benefit idea....give me some examples or comparisons?

my sales pitch has always been comparing myself to other companies and explaining the differences..

[Spider]

...Waukesha Plumbing is not just another average plumbing company. We have a reputation of doing the job right, showing up on time, completeing the job early and providing superior quality. This is why 90% of our jobs are referrals from previous customers...

You are telling them what you are not. Why not tell them what you are -- Waukesha Plumbing is an above-average plumbing company. Or 'first-class' or 'top grade' -- whatever.


Benefits rather than Features--

Tell them why it matters to THEM that you have a reputation for doing the job right.

Tell them why it matters to THEM that you arrive on time.

Tell them why it matters to THEM that you complete the job early.

Everyone claims 'superior service.' Tell them what your 'superior service' means exactly and what benefits THEY get from it.


Several typos/spelling errors from..

Why choosed Waukesha Plumbing?

...to...

master plumbers license

[huggytree]

i worry about using the words- top grade or 1st class....it means expensive and may turn people off who CAN afford my services. Im not cheap, but I also not typically the highest bid either....i do win jobs as the low bid all the time...its not typical, but its not unusual for me to be the low bid...it depends on who im bidding against.

doesnt using those words mean im the most expensive? im not???????

i understand benefits alittle more....its an easy fix and a different way to go at it..not sure if its better or not though...im going to write it out both ways and ask opinions of various people....

typo's are me just quickly typing it in for this forum...i knew they were there...it was alot to type and i didnt care at the moment...dont worry it wont be on my final copy

thanks for the ideas Fredrick and Patrysha...i knew you'd both be the 1st 2 to respond...

[huggytree]

i still like my opening paragraph but i changed some of my bullet points and agree its an improvement, but worry its getting too wordy to read quickly

-the jobs will be done correctly the first time because thats what you expect & deserve
- we will show up on time and keep the job on schedule because we know your time is important
-no skimping on parts or installation practices so the job will be rock solid for a lifetime
- drop cloths will be put on floors to protect them from damage
-your phone calls will ne answered immediately or returned within the hour
-our bids are accurate and well thought out with no surprise extra's
-employees are background checked and drug tested for your familys safety

do i get the concept? good/bad/so so?

my customer base is single women 30-60 or upper middle class & upper class families...my best customers are those who run small businesses...people who would rather pay for my services than spend all day saturday trying to fix what takes me 1 hour...seems like 80%+ fit into these groups...small business owners sign my contracts 95% of the time, while the average customer is at 50% or less.

[Patrysha]

10 top reasons you should call Waukesha Plumbing for your home's next kitchen, bath or laundry project and why 90% of our business comes from repeat and referral business...

1) You won't have to wait around for hours for a return call. On occasions where we can't handle your inquiry immediately, you'll get a return call within an hour.
2) You'll have total confidence in our workmanship - There's never any time or money wasted on second chances, because your job is done right the first time.
2) You'll never face surprise expenses because our detailed estimating system spells out every detail before the job begins.
3) Your work won't start when ours ends because we never leave a mess behind.
4) Your dream kitchen and bathroom will stay the way you envisioned for years to come, because we install quality parts and materials backed by a lifetime guarantee.


And so on. Course you can change it from 10 to any number really...and this is off the top of my head. It can take a while to get the right tone and structure...there is more to it than just putting words together and it is hard to explain unless you read lots of books and practice a lot and even then you still have to test.

[huggytree]

sounds very nice...but now its getting even more wordy!!!

isnt short and to the point easier to read for a home page?

shouldnt it take a few seconds to read my whole home page?

i do think your version sounds much nicer...whether its what i want or not...it does sound good...if people want to spend the time to read it and think about it i think its great...if they are quickly scanning through websites im not sure it works...im not sure my 2nd version does either.....my first version is a easy quick read.

[Patrysha]

You make it easy to read with placement and highlights that's where design meets copy...

You keep contact information easy to find so people who already know they want to hire you can find it fast.

Is "short and to the point, a few seconds of reading" doing it's job of converting visitors into clients for you right now?

[billbenson]

Huggy, I'll defer to others as to better selling copy. One thing though. As I recall your site places well in local searches. Don't change for the sake of changing because its free. Just make sure your changes don't mess with your google placement if its good. I doubt the above suggestions will, just be careful.

On edit: as well, you might ask your web designer to post the new site so we can look at it before you cut over.

[Spider]

The clue as to benefits over features, Dave, is that every one of Patrysha's bullet points starts with "You."

1) You won't have to wait ...
2) You'll have total confidence ...
3) You'll never face surprise expenses... etc.

Every one fo your bullet points either starts with, or implies a start with "We."

- the jobs [we do] will be done correctly...
- we will show up on time...
- [we don't skimp] on parts or installation...
- [we put down] drop cloths...

And you can shorten Patrysha's points easily enough and still say the same thing--

1) You won't have to wait around because we answer calls immediately, at least within the hour.... (16 words against 29)
2) You won't waste time or money on second chances, because we do your job right the first time... (17 words against 26)

Just keep working on it, word by word. you'll get there.

[huggytree]

I have endless redo's, so i had them put the easy read version up for me today...i already had some changes for them..im combining the 'about us' page w/ the home page....

im getting rid of the About us page...im putting something else in its place...something that will get me alot of keywords...

im considering. money saving tips or specialties ...something different which may get me some extra hits...i want something that people with money would be attracted to..not people who hire craigs list plumbers....

short and to the point works extremely well in my fliers to builders and remodelers...my website is mimicking my fliers...im not sure if it will work as well....i like it....i can see everything that makes me different in under 20 seconds....its short and to the point...i do agree somewhat with everyone who says it doesnt give the benefits, but there is no way to shorten the benefit idea to 5-10 words per bullet point.....im going to spend a week or 2 on this, so im not in any hurry and will probably make alot of changes.

all suggestions welcome!

thanks

[huggytree]

they just finished updating my website again

Waukesha Plumbing - Residential Plumbing in Southeastern Wisconsin. Serving Waukesha, Milwaukee Counties (http://www.waukeshaplumbing.com)

i like the homepage....im considering removing the 'delta,moen,kohler,toto' from the top to unclutter it... any opinions?

[Patrysha]

How about

"Only a plumbing specialist like Waukesha Plumbing can say they have a reputation for:

1. Doing the job right the first time,
2. Being on time and completing jobs ahead of schedule
3. Completely backed for quality assurance with a generous warranty"

"Put us to the test once and you'll be recommending us for a lifetime!"

Random thoughts that I think would work. If you want things reduced to five words or less though...that's asking a lot for a free forum.

[huggytree]

patrysha, thanks for the idea's...i dont expect you to write it for me, but your tips are helping me see i can go about it slightly differently.

what about an idea to replace the 'about us' page?

Green ? or Money saving idea's?
i could talk about water heaters, dual flush toilets, pex water pipe, how i recycle all metal/cast iron i remove

im looking for a subject i can include more keywords on

[Patrysha]

All those would be great ideas.

You could also do ones on how going green with plumbing saves $ over the long term, how the savings add up over the years, show people how much they can save over the life of the product and/or how to make that calculation for themselves (much easier to get buy in if they do their own calculations)...

Have you researched to see if people in your area are searching for those terms and what words they are using and what they are currently finding? It can be hard on a local level depending on how big your area is and how many people live there...but it's not hard to guesstimate based on national numbers.

I would keep the about page. People expect an about page. Just use it to sell your services :-)

[huggytree]

everything i had on my about us page is now in the bullet points on the home page...

i think id get more out of 'Green Plumbing'...people expect the 'about us' page, but i dont want to be the same as everyone else...different is good.....as long as its a different people like.

[Patrysha]

Well it would be fairly easy to gear a plumbing about page to savings (not in the short term but in the long term...do some average calculations and show them how to make their own calculations like I said.

Show them your value in dollars and cents...because green makes sense over the long haul...saving money and resources. It's not exactly a tough sell.

Your not selling it based on price over the short term but showing the savings over the long term with environmental benefits. If you wanted to go all green it would be more expensive (recycled papers for your advertising, something to cut down on gas consumption etc...) that's why it's better not to focus overly much on the environmental impact over the long term value...unless you go all the way you shouldn't mess around with it too much. It would be easy to use public relations to spread that message locally to and have it all lead back to you...

If no one in your area is tapping this market...it could be very profitable to specialize to a certain extent.

[Steve B]

I seriously doubt any bullet points about a plumber being green is going to help. I wouldn't personally waste any of your text on that. Unless you're really going all out on that topic (like Patrysha mentioned) you're running the risk of someone just trying to jump on the bandwagon. Even if you really did go completely green - I'm guessing the percentage of the population that would put any serious weight on that during their decision making would be pretty small.

As long as you have a professional looking site (which you do) - the vast majority of people are just trying to find your phone number.

[huggytree]

maybe 'Saving Money' is a better theme

i can use alot of the 'green' idea's and add the fact that i use better parts which saves them money in the long run(instead of replacing junk parts in 2 years)

Saving Money?


i do run into alot of women who talk about being 'green'...i always tell the customer how i recycle all the metal i remove...they always say its important to them...men dont seem to care.

'Saving money' is something everyone wants, so its probably a better idea.

[Steve B]

I agree. Money savings is the real issue.

[Patrysha]

Yup - saving money is a good way to go...you'll just have to manage the perceptions so that you're not attracting bargain shoppers but value shoppers. The green can be in there but subtle, like with the we recycle parts and longer lasting products...

[Business Attorney]

But why not have a page on green issues, too? If someone sees a reference on the home page, they can click if they are interested and ignore it if they are not. In addition, by having a page on green plumbing issues, if there is ever anyone looking on the web for an environmentally conscious plumber, your specific page may come up high in the searches.

Personally, I wouldn't think it would be a big draw so I wouldn't spend a lot of time on it, but if you essentially have the content already, where is the harm?

[huggytree]

saving money it is!

im thinking about a paragraph which explains the difference between saving money today and saving money long term. my whole business theme is about saving long term by using better products today.

then ill go on about 4-5 different types of products
piping, water heaters, toilets, pumps, fixtures

i can explain how spending $150 extra today on a water heater will save you $250 over its lifetime and give you a better warranty for free too.

how using cast iron pumps that last twice as long

using toilets which work and dont need 3 flushes for solids..also dual flush toilets to really save

piping which is top grade and fully warrantied vs the competition who mixing brand names and voids warranties to save $100 per house..

i like it

anything else to add to this theme?

[Spider]

Regarding your "About" page - check your stats. Do people access that page much? If they do, you need to keep it - if they don't, you could drop it, maybe. I think an About page essential, myself.


"Reliable, Honest and On Time" -

1. Wasn't there a discussion just recently about telling a client the truth about taking time away from his job to do another job?

2. "Employees are background checked and drug tested." - Do you have any employees? I thought you worked alone.

3. "90% of our jobs are referrals from previous customers." - Is this true? You have suggested in these forum that many or most of your jobs come from contractors as a result of your direct mail, not customer referrals.


The trouble with points of this nature, every company will make the same claim. What plumber will tell people he is unreliable, dishonest and never on time?! They all claim to give superior service and superior quality.

I just visited the websites of a few plumbing companies in the Milwaukee area and they all said the same things. Every plumber will say his work is done correctly first time, that he shows up on time, that he doesn't skimp, that he answers the phone immediately or returns calls promptly, that his bids are accurate. The only item on your list of bullet points that supposedly sets you apart from the others is the drop cloths.

I mean, it may be true that you are the only plumber that does these things, but how is the site visitor to know? My point is, none of these bullet points sets you apart, in the eyes of a potential client.

My suggestion is, forget the other guys. You cannot make good progress in your business by trying to go forward looking in the rearview mirror. Focus on how a homeowner or contractor will benefit from hiring YOU.

That's what they want to know. What's in it for them!

[huggytree]

i am my only employee and i am drug tested and background checked. i had to do it a while back to work for an insurance company...also my union random drug tests...so its all true..alittle odd that i background checked myself, but true i did...have it in writing

homeowner jobs are 90%+ referrals...i only get a couple of cold call jobs a month....its probably 95%....

most of my work is contractor work (about 66%)...since the website is for homeowners im only looking at the homeowner point of view......maybe its wrong...

as far as me being honest...ill bet im the most honest contractor around....im painfully honest....1 minor blemish in 12 years doesnt do much to hurt me...ohhhh yeaaa im honest...not perfect like Jesus, but still honest for a person.

i havent looked at other websites....i didnt copy anyone...i have only looked at my friends website (the electrician)...

some of those websites you found may be the expensive 'service' guys in the area...they are on time and do use good parts....they also charge 50% more than me...they wear bootys too...they dont need tarps...it is hard to be different in my business....Alittle different isnt hard, but to be night/day different isnt possible...i am night/day different when it comes to parts when compared to the largest plumber.....but they have decent service and someone to answer their phones....showing up on schedule is something i always do..that one almost no one does....but im sure they all claim they do...

the only truly different plumber in the area advertises that 'my plumbers dont smell'....i dont want to copy that advertising....its unique and he has been advertising that for years, so it must work on some level.

i have my 'save money' section written...the wife is going over it and i am expecting to fax it to the web guys tomarrow...i still have time to revise everything, so i will have to check out the competitions websites next week....

in reality what makes my company different the most is ME...how i handle things, how i talk, how i act, how i react.....im a very focused person...always have been....when i hire employees that will be partially gone....how do i advertise that?...i still have never admitted in any advertising that im a 1 man shop...maybe thats something i could consider for my home page?....many people say that 'im THEIR plumber'....its all about the personal touch...a minor friendship is how i look at it. i could easily write a paragraph and bullet points about the advantages of a 1 man shop.. i just think its risky because many people want to work with a large company and consider a small 1 man show a risk.

[huggytree]

i just did a search for 'plumber waukesha'....i looked at 8 websites..

im very unimpressed.

mine is in the top 2 for content in my opinion...none stressed doing the job right or had a photo of the owner with a nice paragraph.

the smell good plumber was there....

most were service plumbers...thats a whole different animal...they charge $25-40 more than me and do small picky projects.

alot of my competition doesnt even have websites...

last time i checked how many people went to 'about us' it wasnt very high...its not a big loss

[Spider]

...as far as me being honest...
....i didnt copy anyone...I didn't mean that you weren't any of those things, David - only that the person reading what you wrote could not tell. And they would not be inclined to believe you if every other plumber claims the same things.


...in reality what makes my company different the most is ME...how i handle things, how i talk, how i act, how i react.....im a very focused person....Great! And how does that benefit the prospect? THAT is what you need to write about.

These are the things that make your company different. And they are things that other plumbers cannot claim - because they are not you. Explain to your readers how they will benefit from these special attributes and you will be believable.

Bingo! You will have set yourself apart from your competition, plus you will have made yourself believable without ever mentioning your competition.

[huggytree]

i just spent 20 minutes trying to rewrite my home page on the theme- 1 man plumbing shop..

my mind is completely blank on how to do it...i wrote and rewrote a bunch of things....sounded horrible...its hard to write about yourself....it may be better to let my wife try....im very good at what i do, but its hard to write about it....

i couldnt come up with more than 1 sentence and couldnt come up with short bullet points.

personal attention?

[Patrysha]

It is very hard to write for yourself. Some writers even have hired me to write their bios, press releases and about pages for that very reason. Keep at it.

Or take a break for a while and really think about what you want to communicate...you know you want them to choose you...what do they want? Once you have that, the words will start to flow...

And then you can edit...

And edit...

and think and then edit some more...

That or hire someone to go through all those steps for you...

[Patrysha]

Found a fascinating article which backs up what I had hunches about and shows that going with the long range approach to savings will work for women in a big way.

Gender Marketing Web Design Differences - iMediaConnection.com (http://www.imediaconnection.com/content/11359.asp)

[Dan Furman]

Don't lose the about page. It's an important page. Shameless self-promotion here, but see mine (at the clear writing site) for an example of a good one.

Here's what I would suggest - a classic 6 page site:

home/about/services/faq/testimonials/contact. Yes, have a FAQ - it allows you to answer those questions in an engaging manner. Here's where you can talk candidly about price / saving money long term / etc. It makes you seem friendly and accessible.

Don't get too wrapped up in the marketing-101 talk of features vs benefits. It over-complicates this. I need a plumber (that's why I'm at your site), and you're a plumber - so solve my problem. If you can make me feel good about you, all the better.

Good luck - web copy that gets clicks is tough stuff.

[huggytree]

i added my SAVING MONEY page...they have to make 3 corrections on the home page and a spelling error on the Saving money page.

what do you think about my Saving Money page?

i like it and think most people who visit will click on it...i give advice and add up a ton of keywords.

Waukesha Plumbing - Residential Plumbing in Southeastern Wisconsin. Serving Waukesha, Milwaukee Counties (http://www.waukeshaplumbing.com)

[Dan Furman]

I like it. But change this:


When deciding on which parts to use in your house we don’t only look for the lowest priced part. We look for the part which often only costs .25 cents to $1 more and gives the best value. Many times our competition is only concerned about being the lowest bid. Were concerned about being the best bid and doing the job right!

to this:


When deciding on which parts to use in your home, we choose parts that offer true quality and value. Sometimes the price on these parts is no different, and sometimes it's slightly higher. And that's ok - we're not overly concerned about being the absolute lowest quote (anyone can do that by cutting a corner). We'd rather give you truly exceptional work at a competitive price. You and your home deserve no less.

If you value quality work done right (and at a fair price), we'd love to give you a quote - click here to contact us, or read on to learn a little bit about quality plumbing parts.

You are targeting homeowners, right? Then don't use the word "bid". Use the word "quote" instead.

Asking for action there won't hurt you (especially because you also invite them to read on.)

Good job.

[huggytree]

glad to see someone likes it...i do

i will be using your change...i like it....im sending it to them tonight.

thanks!