Increase Revenue 173% by Changing a Few Words

[vangogh]

I found an interesting post where the words in a call-to-action were tested to see which led to the highest clickthrough rate. The call was a simple request to follow a blogger on Twitter at the bottom of every post.

The calls progressed in this order:

I'm on Twitter
Follow me on twitter
You should follow me on twitter
You should follow me on twitter here

The underlined word in each of the above was the link.

Clickthrough rate increased from 4.70% on the first call above to 12.81% on the last. You could probably predict the rise in CTR when changing through the first 3 calls as they add first the command and then the more personal you should while keeping the command.

The increase in the last call is interesting as it's only adding the word "here" to the end. You might not expect that to work, but it does. It's one reason you still see links with "Click here" a lot. They do seem to work.

You can read the details in the post, You should follow me on Twitter (http://dustincurtis.com/you_should_follow_me_on_twitter.html).

What's most important to take from the post is simply how changing a few words can really make a huge difference. I know it's something we've talked about before, but imagine the call here was for buying a product and imagine the same improvement in CTR could be achieved. It would be a 173% increase in revenue through that link.

[greenoak]

that is so odd!!! thanks...ann

[vangogh]

Not odd at all. People respond differently to different words. If you look at the first two calls above

I'm on Twitter
Follow me on twitter

you'd expect the second one to get more clicks, because it's a command. The first one lets people know you're on Twitter. Ok, so? The second one tells them exactly what you want them to do and even commands them to take that action so more take that action.

The point is that your copy is very important to your success and that even changing or adding or removing a few words can have a significant impact on how much money you make. One reason is makes a lot of sense to hire a copywriter.

[greenoak]

well anyway, thanks for a tip i never would have thought of......
if i was a big corp i would definitely hire a copywriter....sounds like they would e great....if they could see/feel my customers ....which is hard for even me....30 yr old moms.... .
ann

[Blacktalon]

How did they arrive at that specific statistic? That is something I'm interested in more than anything.

[vangogh]

The first call to action received 4.70% click through. The last received 12.81% click through.

12.81 / 4.7 = 2.73 - 1 = 1.73 x 100 = 173%

[cbscreative]

if i was a big corp i would definitely hire a copywriter

That's definitely not just for "big" companies. None of my clients are. The extra advantage of hiring a pro can benefit any size business. Since most business people do not place a high enough value on good copy, those who do really stand out, so it makes an even more profitable difference.

[Patrysha]

None of my clients are big either...I have friends who write for big companies but that really doesn't appeal to me at all.

[vangogh]

Ann you really don't need to be a big corporation to hire a copywriter. I think copywriting is going to cost similar to web design. In the same basic range. When you consider how much money it can bring back it really doesn't cost anything at all.

I know the example in this thread isn't necessarily going to happen all the time where you improve 173%, but I bet Dan can tell us stories of how he rewrote a page for someone and the return was greater than 173%. Now that I think about 173% is realistic and probably even low if you take poor copy and turn it into good copy.

[cbscreative]

I know the example in this thread isn't necessarily going to happen all the time where you improve 173%, but I bet Dan can tell us stories of how he rewrote a page for someone and the return was greater than 173%. Now that I think about 173% is realistic and probably even low if you take poor copy and turn it into good copy.

I'm not Dan, and so far my clients have not shared hard number stats, but I've read case histories where copy has exceeded 10x. That's over 1000%!

[vangogh]

I mentioned Dan, because I know he's increased clickthrough more than 200% on many occasions. It's amazing when you consider what changing a few words can mean let alone all the copy on your site. Hiring a decent copywriter can pay for itself in a few short months and then it'll continue to pay for itself many times over after that.

I'd say the same thing about design, but since this is a copywriting thread we'll keep it to the copywriting. Oops, too late. :)

[greenoak]

i guess im open to a marketer more than a copywriter....someone who could see the big picture and take over!!! that sounds so good .im open to it locally.....
.........they would have to really know our keywords etc etc.and see and appreciate the store.....and they would have to have some background in our style to get it right....... ..but im so open to a local marketing person....and willing to pay.... one is coming this week to do a tv commercial for us..so im kind of interested to see what all he can do......
... our advertizing is one job i would love to delegate....we have a lot of parts and they dont mesh very well.... one person does the computer, we have to face the newspapers and their endless turnover of people and horrible ad departments....its awful around here!!! and im always open to new strategies to reach ourt to my new target market...i just joined a retail paid forum hoping for more insight into that...
we probably spend 6 or 700 a month on advertizing....mostly the billboards...
our online marketing is pretty good i think...but its more pictures than words....people in our field seeing it really compliment the pictures..i hear it a lot....especially on the phone from folks wanting to come .....thats the good thing.... and somehow we pop up on the first page of google in so many things..
i wouldnt do it online...but i would gladly pay for a strategy and someone to consolidate everything.and be here and take the pictures and know where to aim them...etc etc.....its not the money...even tho we arent big enough for an actual marketing department...
ann

.

[vangogh]

i guess im open to a marketer more than a copywriter....someone who could see the big picture and take over

Why do you think a copywriter can't see the big picture? They do. That's their job. A copywriter may not be managing your overall marketing strategy, but they do understand marketing. A good copywriter is going to start by asking you questions to get as much information from you as possible about your business, its goals, your marketing strategy. He or she is then going to spend time researching your industry and write copy appropriate to your business, your marketing, your typical customer, the industry.

Copywriting is part of marketing. Copywriters don't just write words that sound good. They write words that enhance your business and marketing strategy. Same thing when it comes to web design. Web designers aren't trying to create a pretty site. They're trying to create a site that helps you achieve your business and marketing goals.

[greenoak]

i guess im tryling to talk about what i would be looking for and interested in as a retailer...i didnt care what you called it....but someone with great writing skills would be a big plus........
...lets say a good writer who can take pictures, be there and work on strategy...and take over the work of the marketing, month after month......all in one person....that person would get some business from me....

vg...no one in my world would settle for a web designing job that didnt look pretty..that is a huge part of our web marketing....that part has to be just right....that part is the first glimpse the new customer gets of us....
i think you are maybe underestimating the pretty parts..maybe that would hurt you in marketing to some businesses in the internet world........they are probably more like me,,,,very interested in how it looks....that is so crucial.....would you put perry como on eborgs blog? ... and yes they want it to work great, fast and perfect with no breakdowns.......but dont bore them with the details... cause they cant understand them anyway..they would just want a quick fix when something mal functioned....
i dont care how a car runs....but i sure value a good running car.... and the guy who keeps it that way...but i pick the car by how pretty it is....right now im eying a flex!!! black witha white top....or all silver...
sorry.for straying......i see this is a copywrite thread....
ann

[cbscreative]

I won't speak for vg other than to mention I know what he meant by the "pretty" statement. Sure, the site has to look good, that's the easy part. Real web design doesn't stop there though. Usually the $500 specials do, but not the kind of sites produced by the real pros.

[vangogh]

Ann what Steve said is what I meant. I didn't mean to imply that you shouldn't have a nice looking site. But the aesthetics are not the only thing to design. In fact they aren't even the most important part of design.

Also pretty how? I can give you a beautiful web site with any of a hundred different styles. Which style makes the most sense for your business? All I was trying to say with both copy and design is that they're both more successful when based on your business goals and marketing. Copywriters and designers are part of the marketing process. Good ones do understand marketing and are working to align what they do with your marketing. And most good designers and copywriters will see the big picture.

[greenoak]

i just see it different i guess...but anyway, i totally value the tekk parts...

i met the marketer today who is going to do the tv ad....im hopeful he might work out to some extent.... at least he was there and absorbed the store and wants our business.......and saw us on a super busy day when there were dozens of buyers in the store...and seemed to get an idea of some of the main challenges i see...and who my target audience is....
ann.

[vangogh]

What's there to see different? I'm not following.

[greenoak]

well i dont want to argue...im not talking about copywriters or the definition of them......im thinking broader than that.....
. .but let me try again,, if a tekk guy thinks making a blog or site look pretty/right/ worthy of a wow vote by the targeted customers ....if the tekk guy thinks thats easy or even close to easy ... then they are missing what i would want....what you would call a beautiful site probably wouldnt be right ....and you would get sick of hearing the client saying that isnt it....
how about this?....it would be like saying some average lady looks like marilyn monroe...she has eyes, nose, cheeks etc etc...or compare what eborg comes up with online about a music idea to what you would show him ...you could make it work great...but????...i need a look that makes my target want to come buy from me...thats so hard...
i hope having me on here gives you and others trying to market to businesses outside the tekk world some insite into what other kinds of businesses might want or need....i think im open to some education on the tekk and marketing world....definitely....but it could go the other way too.... for your benefit..... .......i could be your brick and mortar sounding board.... like you have been my tekk sounding board and guide so many times...which i always appreciate.....i get pretty bored igf a marketer comes in with all the answers and doesnt even look around....
anyway im not looking for a copywriter..rather someone who can somehow target the people im trying to target... thru the internet and thru my whole marketing thing....and hopefully he is a great writer and doesnt make me sound like hallmark....if thats his slant im not interested....and if he doesnt understand facebook fan pages that would be a big minus too...if i hire him im going to have him read all the facebook and social media posts on here....hes a marketer ...he might love it here...lol....
if you can understand the difference between my store and hallmark then you would be on the right track if you were pitching to me...which i know you arent..

the guy im interested in now....the tv guy....hes spent some time in the store...thats a great start .. ...and a must if i hire him....he might be taking over most of my marketing...he can listen and he is doing marketing for a good business in town....so im hopeful...i do almost all the marketing now...and its made a lot of difference in the store...we have survived when so many around us is have closed or are really hurting..
back to my marketing ... ....which btw....is probably producing at least 500 buyers this weekend at 50$ each..... so i have pretty high standards...but i would love to pay for someone else to do the job......
thats about it vg....
ann

[Patrysha]

But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and a good marketer, designer, copywriter (whatever the person hired happens to call themselves) will know that. A good one is not going to give you a site that it only pretty...because pretty on it's own won't sell a thing...it has to be effective.

One thing to remember is that what people say they will respond to and what they actually respond to are often two different things...so what you as the client think will work and what the marketer suggests may seem like they are on different planets...


i need a look that makes my target want to come buy from me...thats so hard...

But it's not that hard. Yes, it sometimes takes time to get everything tweaked for maximum impact, but it is not hard. At least it shouldn't be for a good marketer.

The openness of communication has to go both ways when you hire someone for their expertise. As a client if you've hired a marketer that you trust and that you feel understands your market and you are saying "No that won't work" before you've tested it on your market - you could potentially be impeding your progress. Because if they go on and make changes based on your opinion alone, they might be removing something that could've worked.

For example, I have a toy store client and I made some suggestions relating to how the store was laid out. The floor fixture placement impeded the traffic flow through of the store and I had a hunch it was stopping people at the door (she is in a mall location). Now she could have said I know my customers and changing things around won't do a thing, it's a waste of time, these things are heavy and awkward to move...but she didn't...the difference was confirmed within days of the change. A minor suggestion to move certain stock to different locations in the store increased sales in certain categories too. Now those suggestions had nothing to do with the skills she hired me for, but they were free to implement and they made an impact.

Marketing at a store level is in the details and not just at the advertising to get them in the door. Marketing is like one of those too-tall layer cakes...each layer works to build the whole until you have a totally scrumptious treat and each layer has ingredients that have to be right in order for that layer to work with the whole. If you switch raspberries for lemon or white chocolate for dark, you are going to have a different taste and appeal to a different palate. Sometimes you gotta trust the chef.

[greenoak]

then if its not hard to target customers correctly and market to them successfully we should al have them lined up and happy to be our customers......thats what im going for..
thats what i would call good marketing...if you have achieved that for yourself, thats great...and a good example to your hoped for clients...
ann

[vangogh]

Don't worry Ann. I wasn't thinking we were arguing at all. Just trying to understand what you're thinking. Like you said we can all learn from each other.

Just so you know many web designers can design sites in a variety of styles. Our sites may look a certain way, but that doesn't mean our client's sites are going to look the same. That's a big part of the idea behind design. It's about matching what we do to what the client wants.

However I would add that we also know websites and there are reasons we create things that look the way we do. We understand clients want certain things, but we also understand what works and what doesn't in a website.

Imagine you've always kept all your receipts in a shoebox. And you wrote all your revenue down on scraps of paper in another shoebox. The system works well for you when it comes to doing your taxes, because you've been doing it that way for awhile and it's familiar. Then one day you decide to hire an accountant. Your accountant is most likely going to suggest other ways to keep track of things. That may involve using software like Quicken. That might at first be unnatural to you and make things harder on you in the beginning, but ultimately it's going to be a better way to keep track of the finances for your business.

You know your business. Web designers know what makes for an effective website and copywriters know what makes for effective copy.

I'll echo what Patrysha said about building a website that makes your target market want to buy. You think it's hard because it's not your specialty. It's what we do as web designers. I'm not suggesting we can bang out a site in an hour and it's perfect, but understand the whole point of what we do is take the time to understand your business and your market and build something that makes your market want to buy from you.

Building an effective website is a collaboration between the site owner and anyone who works on the site, designer, copywriter, marketer, programmer, etc.

[cbscreative]

I can't help but be reminded of how the web is so much different from all the other forms of marketing. Us "older" people are especially prone to "not get it" while the majority of successful web sites are owned or started by people under 35. The further into this I get, the more I realize how important it is to abandon conventional thinking.

Those who treat the web like just another marketing tool are probably doomed to be disappointed. Since this thread is about copywriting, writing for the web is different too. If you apply the same rules that work in other forms of advertising, get ready for dismal results. Applying the same rules as brick and mortar, or traditional business, is probably a leading cause of online failure.

I mention this because the advice a web designer gives might seem strange. You could easily say, "I know my business, and that doesn't seem right. this person spends too much time on the computer and doesn't understand me." As long as they understand the Internet, that is what matters for creating an effective web site. I'm not saying they don't need to understand you, they had better to make you successful, but online success is specialized.

[greenoak]

weve had the computer since the apple 2...so im right at home with it even if i cant and dont want to program...to me its a huge tool for our company..i have 2 blogs about the store, and 2 facebooks, and a big website....i love it......
.my job has always been to use it as a good enrichment for our brick and mortar business... to make us money ,even tho im a tekk dud and have no desire to do the actual tekk work...
we dont sell online and have no desire to....so far.... except our etsy and ebay...
i hear you vg...and think the derbys pet fence site looks great....
ann


ann

[vangogh]

we dont sell online and have no desire to

That doesn't mean online isn't important to your business. As Steve mentioned the web changes things. It's not just about whether or not you sell online. It's important to realize that more and more people go to the web first for information and if your business isn't easily found there someone else's business will be.

[greenoak]

i think online is very important to our business...see above.....not sure how you are thinking im using or valuing our online.... ...
..our website brings lots of business and the blogs are heavily read and now im trying to do a good job on facebook....and i have over 1000 email customers who get online news from us at least once a month.....everything we have is up to our ability and being heavily used by our customers... i always want it to be better....
in our field we have more online activity and effort than most other stores....im not sure where you are coming from if you think i dont realize i need to be there, or that my customers use online heavily.....i know that....
its huge for us....i always want to be better at it ....but im there...
ann

[vangogh]

Sorry if my comment came across like I didn't think you see online being important to your business. It's what I get for posting before my morning coffee. Didn't mean to imply that.

I think there are some people who only see the web as important if they are selling directly through their site. Not you, but definitely some people view it that way. I wanted to make the point to echo Steve's point above how the web changes so many things. None of us can do business quite the same way we would have 20 years ago. Even brick and mortar business that only sell locally through a physical store need to pay attention to the web and how it affects their business.

Again my apologies for implying you might be one of those people. I know you put thought and effort into your site and blog and that both help your business.

[greenoak]

thats a relief vg....ive been talking about my web stuff on here for how many years!!!! i see ours as a billboard kind of....and its made us lots of money....imho...
ann

[vangogh]

My bad. Sometimes I also write more for people who might be reading and not necessarily members. I just want to get the point across that the web is important for business now regardless of whether or not your business is online or offline.

For example 20 years ago most of your advertising might have simply been the phone book. I can't even remember the last time I opened a phone book. It's so much quicker for me to hop over to a search engine and look for local businesses that way. That's not everyone, but more and more people are going to search engines first.

You still want to advertise in the phone book, but you have to do so with the understanding that less people will look there in the past. If I'm your market and you only advertise in the phone book I'll never know you exist.

[cbscreative]

Besides, Ann, we know you're ahead of the curve in many ways because you are holding your own while many others are failing. You wouldn't be doing so well if you weren't doing something right. I even recall where you are doing things that "experts" in the industry are saying are bad. They're trying to hold onto the past while you are being more innovative.

I'm also like vangogh in my posts because I know they will be read by many others. Forum posts are read not only by silent members and lurkers, but they often show in search results. I often add things in my posts knowing that the information will live on far beyond the discussion going on at the time.

[vangogh]

The simple fact that you're here and a member of the forum puts you ahead of the curve. Most people don't even know what a forum like this is, let alone join and post on one.

[cbscreative]

The simple fact that you're here and a member of the forum puts you ahead of the curve. Most people don't even know what a forum like this is, let alone join and post on one.

I was thinking of making a similar statement. The irony of businesses needing to take advantage of the web is that the ones who need the wonderful info we have here the most, are the ones who will never see it. The members we have here are definitely way ahead of the curve.

[greenoak]

steve and vg i really appreciate what you are saying....and i do try and send folks here for all the reasons....
also...i did vgs twitter trick today in our newslettter....see anns blog here...instead of our usual way....and i really am working on facebook and tomorrow my web person, who works our counter lots of hours a week, is going to see how neat eborgs fan page looks and how he did it....so i am so thankful for being here...
im looking forward to lots of articles in the retail press about it....but havent seen much yet....
ann

[Jacoby]

Not only is this really interesting, the website is beautiful.

[Capitalist]

Holy thread necromancy.