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Spider
07-22-2009, 11:00 AM
Do we limit our business growth by the vocabulary we use? The short answer is, "Yes." In fact, I suggest there is nothing that can cause a business to grow more than the vocabulary used by the business owner or CEO.

How we speak and the words we use lead us into a positive or negative state of mind. If we are up-beat, positive, happy, we tend to view the world expansively and we expand into that worldview and carry our businesses with us. If we are down, dull, and negative, we do not speak expansively, do not act expansively and do not expand - neither as a person nor as a business.

It is easy to forget that improving a small business is very much about improving the small business owner. If you were the CEO of a large corporation and you wanted more sales, you could just hire more salespeople. As a small business owner, if you want more sales, YOU have to be a better salesperson. If you want a more dynamic business, YOU must be a more dynamic person. Just by changing your vocabulary you can become a better salesperson and a more dynamic person.

Here are a couple of specific points to discuss. Whenever one says, "Yes, but..." the "but" negates the "yes."

"I would do this but I have no money," leaves the issue dead. However, if one says, "I would do this and I have no money," the issue remains open and begs the question, "How will I get the money to do it?" "Yes and" is much more positive and leading to future benefit than "yes but." In the same vein, "I still think that..." is like "Yes but." It closes off one's mind from thinking further.

Many times I have been in a discussion of a business nature, strategic considerations, why to do this or that - and then one or more of the participants reverts to their original position with, "I still think that..."

"I still think that..." cancels out all the agreement and idea-sharing that went on during the discussion. It makes the exchange totally futile. It reduces expansion and growth for that person and their business.

I challenge everyone on this forum - to refrain from using the phrase, "I still think that ..." Try to think of another phrase that is not a door-closer. What could you use, instead, that is a door-opener?

"Yes, and..." instead of "Yes, but..."

Dan Furman
07-22-2009, 11:40 AM
I am a fan of words, however I don't like the "but" exception, simply because it reminds me of what I call "sales manager-speak". You know, those guys who talk in cliche's like No doesn't really mean "no", it means "give me more information" (no.... it means friggen NO). I just remember hearing that "but" phrase in sales meetings as "weak people use "but" to justify bad behaviour". I dunno - it's not that bad a word. Sometimes there are exceptions.

However (which is a good "but" substitute), this is a good thread, because I do agree with Spider. My brother in law is perpetually struggling in business. But he says things like "everything is against the little guy" (meaning him). I would never refer to myself as a "little guy". It's self-defeating.

Another thing he always says "hey, I'm just looking to get by and feed my family"... and you know what? That's all he does - he just gets by and feeds his family. Like the self-fulfilling prophecy.

vangogh
07-22-2009, 12:03 PM
I agree with you that the words we use are important, but I disagree with the conclusions you're drawing about specific words and phrases. Yes, I realize I'm using one of the words you're suggesting we not use. I'm doing it purposely to make a point and because I think it will serve as an example later in this post.

First here are some examples of the word 'but' from the dictionary at reference.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/but). I'll stick with its use as a conjunction, since that's really the form of the word I believe you're talking about



1. on the contrary; yet: My brother went, but I did not.
2. except; save: She was so overcome with grief she could do nothing but weep.
3. unless; if not; except that (fol. by a clause, often with that expressed): Nothing would do but that I should come in.
4. without the circumstance that: It never rains but it pours.
5. otherwise than: There is no hope but by prayer.
6. that (used esp. after doubt, deny, etc., with a negative): I don't doubt but he will do it.
7. who not; that not: No leaders worthy of the name ever existed but they were optimists.
8. (used as an intensifier to introduce an exclamatory expression): But she's beautiful!
9. Informal. than: It no sooner started raining but it stopped.


Looking over the above, the examples don't strike me as the 'but' negating what comes before it. Take the first example

"My brother went, but I did not."

The second part of the sentence does not negate the first part. It doesn't close the doors to anything either. It's two contrasting ideas. You could have said "My brother went out and I did not" The sentence makes less sense that way. Because here the two ideas are being contrasted against each other. Using 'but' makes more sense.

Getting back to my first sentence here. I'm contrasting two ideas.

I agree with your general idea to write well.
I disagree with the conclusions you're drawing about a specific word and phrase.

The second does not negate the first. It contrasts with the first. There are absolutely times when using the word 'but' negates what came before it. That's not always the case. You need to look at the greater context of what's being said to make that determination.



"I would do this, but I have no money"
"I would do this and I have no money"


The second sentence above doesn't tie the two thoughts together. The first does. The first sentence implies that someone would do something if they had money. They've expressed a goal and a barrier to reaching that goal. The second sentence does neither.

The issue isn't closed in the first sentence and open in the second sentence. I'd argue there is no issue in the second sentence at all.

"I still think that" doesn't cancel out anything either. It's could be saying

"I see you're point, but I have some of my own points to make as well"

It could certainly be used to say I disagree. It doesn't have to. You took the phrase from something I wrote in another thread. In that case it did not negate anything from what came before it as I mentioned in that other thread. At most it would do the same as what I did in the first sentence here. It agreed with part of what you said and disagreed with another.

I agree with your general thought to choose words carefully
I disagree with the conclusions you're drawing about specific words and phrases.

Spider
07-22-2009, 12:29 PM
I have noticed (in others and in myself) that whenever one says, "I'm going to start a little business of my own," invariably, that is what they create - a little business of their own. Rarely does it grow to anything larger. By starting a business, and setting it up as a large business - incorporation, articles of association, business plan, accounts, empoyee payroll, etc., even though it operates for a period with oneself as the only employee, and 'the office' one's kitchen table, that business is more likely to grow into a large and profitable business.

vangogh
07-22-2009, 12:45 PM
I agree with that. I think it's less because they used the specific word and more because they held that attitude. The word isn't really the cause. It's a clue to the attitude held by the person using.

I do think that you can identify the limiting thoughts by observing the words and even change those thoughts by altering your language. I can remember back in college on the first days of the semester I'd site through the first class in any course and think about what grade I thought I could get. If the class sounded easy I'd tell myself I could easily get an 'A' If the course sounded harder I might think that I'd hope to get a 'B' if I worked hard enough.

Invariable no matter how hard I worked on those more difficult classes I could never get an 'A' and I'm 100% convinced it's because I decided that first day the best I could do was a 'B'

As soon as I identified that pattern I started telling myself I could get an 'A' in every class and I started getting 'A's in many of those difficult classes.

You can change your attitude and the results you get, by choosing certain words carefully.

Dan Furman
07-22-2009, 02:26 PM
I have noticed (in others and in myself) that whenever one says, "I'm going to start a little business of my own," invariably, that is what they create - a little business of their own. Rarely does it grow to anything larger. By starting a business, and setting it up as a large business - incorporation, articles of association, business plan, accounts, empoyee payroll, etc., even though it operates for a period with oneself as the only employee, and 'the office' one's kitchen table, that business is more likely to grow into a large and profitable business.

But not everyone wants a large business. I want a successful, profitable business. I do not want a large one, though.

vangogh
07-22-2009, 02:42 PM
But not everyone wants a large business.

True. I think Frederick's point is still valid. You can limit yourself in your thoughts before you begin. Maybe "little business" isn't the limiting factor for some. The overall point is still true. And I do think that our choice of words can lead to internal changes.

Your point goes toward what I was saying in my first post. You can't look at a word or phrase in isolation. There's a context your words belong in. In your case you're perfectly fine if your business remains small, albeit successful. So referring to it as a "little business" can be perfectly acceptable and may not limit anything you do. I can even think how referring to your business as a "little business" can help you appeal to a certain market by making you seem friendlier and more down to earth.

Harold Mansfield
07-22-2009, 04:04 PM
A lot of good points here. Vocabulary, especially in this age of emails is crucial to the success and development of any business. The wrong words can evoke a negative connotation that can affect perception of potential customers and associates that you may never know about, or be able to recover from.

Even simple harmless misspelling mistakes (which are my BIG achilles heel), can lead people to assume that you are unprofessional, or even worse....an idiot.

It is the one thing I constantly worry about...how my words are perceived by people that I communicate with solely by text.
I have been known to send follow up emails immediately, correcting terminology and misspellings, just to let the recipient know that I am not a duffus.

It's even hard for me to use text messaging abbreviations or slang on Twitter. When I see others do it, I get an immediate impression (although probably false) of their age, and level of education and form an opinion without ever having any proof to back it up, or the benefit of talking to them either in person, or by phone.

Words and their associated context are extremely important.

vangogh
07-22-2009, 04:35 PM
Words and their associated context are extremely important.

More so when the words are read instead of spoken. We forget how much meaning the inflection of our voice carries. The way you read a sentence in your head isn't necessarily the same way someone else reads it.

Think about sarcasm. You're basically saying the opposite of what you mean and your real meaning comes out completely through your voice. That's not easy to do in writing.

Blessed
07-23-2009, 01:17 AM
The original post here reminds me of the saying "attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference". I have to side with Steve and say that I really don't think specific words and/or phrases are to blame for how we see ourselves or see a situation - it is our attitude that really matters.

Crazy Dog Creative will never be a big advertising/marketing/public relations firm. Why? Because I don't want to dedicate the time and effort necessary to make it into that. Do I have the skills and expertise necessary to make it happen? Sure. I know my stuff, I do good work, I know when I need to ask for help from people with strengths in other areas, I'm good with people, I'm good with sales, I'm good with the human resources side of a business like this and I have experience in all of those areas - even though I'm only 34. But - I'm a Momma too and right now that is much more important to me than making my business what it could be. So my attitude towards my business is to keep it at the level it is at right now with slow long-term growth and that is what is happening. If I changed my attitude towards my business I would change the way I conducted business, the way I pursued growing and strengthening my business and I would see a change - because I believe that I could make it happen and if I was working towards that goal any "setback" would be viewed as something to overcome in order to grow my business even faster.

I guess you could say that my philosophy in life and in business is that "problems" or "setbacks" or other things that could be viewed as negatives can be either stumbling blocks or stepping stones for me. Either those setbacks can trip me up and make me fail or they can be something I overcome and use as a stepping stone to get to my goal a little faster.

It's all about attitude - words are important, they convey our attitude to others and reinforce it to ourselves but they are just an outward showing of what is really going on inside a person.

ok... now that I'm done with that speech how off-topic did I get? :)

Spider
07-23-2009, 05:59 PM
I think, B, that you are perfectly on-topic.

There is no doubt that the words we use and our attitude are linked. There is no doubt that the words we use *reflect* our attitude. What I think is misunderstood by most people is the extent to which our attitude is *created* by the words we use.

As an example of this, we can easily find ourselves in a group of people who are constantly complaining about their work and their customers. We might be quite happy with our work and our customers, and may express that attitude. Over time, though, if we continue to fraternize with these complainers, our words useage will change to match theirs and we start to adopt the same complaining words. Our attitude will very soon follow our words.

Another slightly different example - many people think we smile or laugh because we are happy. Try smiling when you are sad or angry or frustrated. It won't be long before your smile has caused you to changes your underlying attitude. It's quite difficult to maintain a genuine smile and be angry, sad or frusrated at the same time.

Now, instead of the smile (or in addition to the smile) speak in positive words - "I'm so glad the sun is shining." "I'm really happy that Xxxx was promoted." "This coffee tastes good. Who made it? Well done. Thank you!" It is almost impossible to maintain the negative attitude for any length of time when you speak like this.

billbenson
07-23-2009, 11:03 PM
Since the premise of this thread was selling (CEO, Salesman, Small Business Owner, etc are all sales people at some level).

Sales 101, get the customer talking and shut up.


Many times I have been in a discussion of a business nature, strategic considerations, why to do this or that - and then one or more of the participants reverts to their original position with, "I still think that..."


The above statement isn't selling and nobody but you cares about your opinion and you already gave it once. If you really need to talk about it again, approach it from a benefit angle.

>>yes, but...

Replace the above with yes [ask a question].

But then again, yes, but sounds more like a response from a customer not a pitch from a salesman. The customer can say what he wants, salesman can't.

Blessed
07-24-2009, 12:10 AM
Since the premise of this thread was selling (CEO, Salesman, Small Business Owner, etc are all sales people at some level).

Sales 101, get the customer talking and shut up.

Exactly.

Get the customer talking - about their business, where they want it to go, what their dreams are for future growth oh and it also helps if you get them to talk about their dog, their kids, their weekend plans and etc... then if you remember their birthday, remember their kids graduation, ask about how their weekend at the lake was or how they spent their vacation and etc... you become a "friend" to your customer and then it is harder for them to take their business elsewhere and you become more successful. Of course in order to talk to everyone you need to talk to you have to learn how to keep the small talk very short, that is hard with some people!

I've never had any formal sales training, actually I was thrown into my first sales job cold-turkey as a last resort when I was 19, in college and working part-time for the newspaper I eventually became the managing editor of. I had to cold-call businesses in several of the cities around our state to see if they would purchase ads for a book we were doing for the state high school sports association - it was quite an experience, and I tripled the ad revenue from the year before - making my boss very happy. I've been fairly successful at sales ever since although I've never wanted to work full-time selling anything. I don't know if how I go about selling is the "right way" to do it, but my way works for me.

Blessed
07-24-2009, 12:15 AM
...As an example of this, we can easily find ourselves in a group of people who are constantly complaining about their work and their customers. We might be quite happy with our work and our customers, and may express that attitude. Over time, though, if we continue to fraternize with these complainers, our words useage will change to match theirs and we start to adopt the same complaining words. Our attitude will very soon follow our words...

This is so true!

Another thing to note is that people don't like to be around negative people - if you are always grumpy you won't attract people to you, if you are a small business person and you aren't attracting people to you your business won't be successful, at least not as successful as it should be. This follows the point Bill made - all small business people are salesmen, successful salesmen never appear grumpy, down-in-the-dumps and cranky - even if that is how they really feel their customers don't see it.

--Jenn

vangogh
07-24-2009, 12:22 AM
Try smiling when you are sad or angry or frustrated. It won't be long before your smile has caused you to changes your underlying attitude. It's quite difficult to maintain a genuine smile and be angry, sad or frusrated at the same time.

I can attest that this works very well. I think there are two parts to why this works. One is that by smiling a lot you do start to feel better. The other is that by smiling people around you react to your smile and treat you better than had you been scowling. Because people around you are treating you better based on your smile the world around you does seem better to you which lifts your spirits.

Whether both of the above play a part is speculation, but I can assure you this does work.

KristineS
07-24-2009, 09:06 AM
I like this thread a lot. I'm a perfect example of how changing your attitude and how you speak can make a huge difference in your quality of life.

For various reasons I won't go into here, I went into my early 20s with a very negative attitude. Everyone was out to get me, everything was dark and so on and so on. That worldview colored all my relationships and my behaviors and generally became a self fulfilling prophecy.

Finally, a boss of mine kicked me in the behind and basically told me that my attitude sucked and no one liked being around me because I was such a downer. That woke me up. I got help, I consciously worked on changing my attitude and was much more careful about what I said and what I thought. It made and still makes a huge difference. Now people tell me all the time how positive I am and how wonderful it is to be around me because I always look on the bright side. I also approach problems much differently because I tend to take the optimistic view that I can solve the problem.

Spider
07-24-2009, 05:06 PM
Kristine hits a valid point. I believe that changing one's attitude head-on is not a particularly easy task. In the first place, recognizing that one's attitude needs to change is not easy. Then actually changing it takes some skill and perseverance.

However, changing one's vocabulary is dead easy. Just make a list of words one uses frequently. (We all use a very limited vocabulary compared to the number of words available - probably no more than 2,000 words out of the millions of words available in the English language.)

List your most frequently-used adjectives. Then rack them up one notch---

Instead of "Good" say "Great."
Instead of "Great" say "Fabulous."
Instead of "Funny" say "Hilarious."

And for negative words, reduce their strength one notch---

Instead of "Bad" say "Not so good."
Instead of "Terrible" say "Bad."
Instead of "Hate" say "Dislike."

Re-phrase others, like---

Instead of "Angry" say "Frustrated."
Instead of "Overwhelmed" say "Puzzled."

There's no need to do all of these at once. Just pick one or two of your most often used adjectives and change them. It's amazing how much one's attitude will change over a relatively short period of time.