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cocoy
04-08-2009, 11:17 AM
Say a title on a print ad that a potential customer will be reading. Is one form better than another when "persuading" a person to buy your products.

1. Why YOU need a pasta pot.

2. Why I need a pasta pot.

Thoughts?

rezzy
04-08-2009, 11:23 AM
My thoughts are 1 is better. It makes the statement much more personal.

The "I" seems like you... which isnt me, get it? In the sense of ads you want to make it seem like this is something I need to get, not something you think I should get.

I like to watch infomeriials and see how those people sell their products. They are very skilled at their craft and can often continue on after having a hiccup with their product's performance.

Plus people dont want your service/product, they want what it does. Explain the benefits they will get.

vangogh
04-08-2009, 11:58 AM
Number 1 is better for the reason Bryan gave. Though neither is all that great. Better would be something like.

Use less water with Paul's Pasta Pot
The pasta pot makes perfect pasta every time
Never undercook you pasta again | Paul's Pasta Pot

None of those are great either, but hopefully you get the idea.

KristineS
04-08-2009, 12:44 PM
Number one is better than number two because "you" starts the reader thinking about themselves. "I" implies that the subject is the writer of the ad.

I have to agree with Vangogh though, both of those options are pretty weak.

cocoy
04-08-2009, 01:09 PM
I agree it's weak as a title, but as far as a product description is it good to involve the reader. Does it make a difference?

Example: you can do this, you can do that vs. it can do this, it can do that

Am I reading too much into the differences?
:)

vangogh
04-08-2009, 01:14 PM
"You can do" would be better, but again it's still not great. It's still focusing on features. People want to know the benefits. Some people like knowing about features. I happen to be one of them. Most though want to know the benefits. "What's in it for me" Most will be less interested in the 25 settings your pasta pot offers. They just want to know that your pasta pot results in delicious pasta or cooks in half the time.

Dan Furman
04-08-2009, 09:05 PM
It depends on the context. I generally try to use the second person (you) over anything else. But sometimes it gets silly - a mix of second and third (they, it, etc) works fine.

"It has a form fitting top, an easy drain opening, and a no-slip handle. You'll love it"

vangogh
04-09-2009, 12:36 AM
Yeah I don't need to hold to second person in every sentence. A good mix is usually best. I'll mix in first person too. The idea is really to focus your copy on the visitor and not yourself. Too many people write things like

"our products are great and have many features, blah, blah, blah"

Potential customers don't really care about why you think your products are great. They want to know what your products do for them.

KarenB
06-09-2009, 01:55 PM
Say a title on a print ad that a potential customer will be reading. Is one form better than another when "persuading" a person to buy your products.

1. Why YOU need a pasta pot.

2. Why I need a pasta pot.

Thoughts?

In a title, I would always address the reader's potential problem right away and then entice them to read on further to discover the solution that you offer.

The titles above are somewhat vague, I think. I love to ask questions about the person's problem to pique their curiousity and then a simple 'read on' statement to entice them to turn the page.

"Pasta sticking to your pot? Read on."

"Does your family hate pasta? Read on."

"Want pasta that tastes great? Read on."

Questions like this tend to identify with every reader instead of having to worry about the 'I' versus 'you' identity thing.

It also diverts attention away from your 'pasta pot' which is the solution that, if you readers have that problem, they will quickly want to turn to the next page to find out more about and what to do about it. Your product should come last and your readers' needs come first.

Karen

vangogh
06-09-2009, 06:38 PM
I would always address the reader's potential problem right away and then entice them to read on further to discover the solution that you offer.

Great idea. That's really what it's all about. Identify someone's problem and solve it.

dynocat
06-10-2009, 12:27 AM
I agree with what's been said, but will relate an anecdote.

For years my husband and I sold our handcrafted wooden kitchen utensils at art fairs, farmers markets, etc. Since he is the woodworker/craftsman, he would go on and on (at least in my mind) about what wood he used, why he used and details about how he made this or that. Occasionally people are really interested in those details and it was fine. But he was not good at "reading" what the person was really asking. Most potential buyers are interested in one thing, "what is this going to do for me?"

It took a bit of coaching, but he's learned to tell the difference and has become a much better sales person by saving the details for those who are seriously interested.

vangogh
06-10-2009, 12:46 AM
It's easy for us to want to talk about what we do in our language. I could easily bore most of you talking about the details of coding a webpage. But I know most of my clients don't really care about those details. They just want to know their site will work and won't break the budget when it comes to developing and maintaining it.

It becomes an interesting balance since a good part of the reason I think someone should hire me come down to those boring details. The trick then is framing that message in a way that's relevant to my clients. When I talk to other designers and developers I can talk shop in our language.

Spider
06-10-2009, 01:24 PM
1. Why YOU need a pasta pot.
2. Why I need a pasta pot.
Thoughts?When I read this original question, my thought was not that #2 was about the writer "Why do I, the seller of the product, need a pasta pot?" - it was a speaking for the reader - "Why do I, the reader, need a pasta pot?"

Certainly the focus of any ad should be on the prospective purchaser, and, in this regard, I think #2 does that more than #1. Except that, it is easily confused. I think asking the reader's question for him - "Why do I need a pasta pot?" - will be more effective, as long as it is clear to whom the "I" refers.

Example-- You need a a pasta pot! - Why do I need a pasta pot? .... 1. Because of this ... 2. Because of this.... 3. Because of this...

vangogh
06-10-2009, 05:02 PM
It's not so much the specific word as it is making sure to place the focus on the reader or customer and not on yourself or your business. Without any context other than the two sentences most people will read the first as being about them and the second as being about the author. It's the nature of the language.

I = first person = about the person writing.
You = second person = about the person reading

You personally might not have interpreted it that way, but the general you that is all of us does.

KarenB
06-15-2009, 04:12 PM
I don't like either alternative because I still think they are too vague. Neither headline captures a reader's attention with a specific example of something they can relate to and fix with the product.

Who wants to read a 'how-to' about something if one's audience can't relate to what their own problem is in the first place? The headline does not identify the problem, nor a solution. In my opinion, this copy is way too vague.

Karen

vangogh
06-15-2009, 04:16 PM
Yeah, neither of the two examples is strong on its own. I think cocoy was asking more about the general idea of using 'I' and 'You' rather than asking about these two specific lines. Of course that's my interpretation of the question and I have been known to be wrong.