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bjay99
08-14-2014, 10:58 AM
Hi everyone,

I am in the process of creating a new landing page for our website.

We are a business voip service provider that offers toll-free numbers, digital receptionist, and more. Our target market are startups and small business owners. I would love to get your (brutally) honest feedback, comments, and suggestions

The original is here (http://www.slingshotvoip.com/small-business-phone-system/)

New concept is here (http://www.slingshotvoip.com/startups-phone-system/)

Appreciate the replies!

Edwin

GeorgeBanis
08-14-2014, 11:57 AM
Hi Edwin,

Thanks for posting.

First of all, let me say that the landing page well thought and put together.

In general I would recommend that whenever you want to answer the question "which landing page is better?" you should do A/B testing. It is always better to let conversion rates answer your question than just human judgement.

Having said that here are so me things you might want to consider:
- CTAs: Your calls to action should stand out more. I realize you want to implement flat design but in the old version they are more pronounced which is always better.
- Slider: The top hero slider's CTA should be on the side that your model is facing. That's where the visitor's attention will naturally go. So either turn the person around or move your CTA to the right:
487
- Copy: You want to agitate the prospect's problems and show how your solution solves them. Don't just list features.
- Colors: It feels like the colors are a little too neutral/passive. Your audience (startups/entrepreneurs) are young and adventurous so you might want to consider a more lively color scheme.
- Arrows: You aren't using any arrows, which is totally fine. However I've seen that arrows help guide your visitor's attention exactly where you want to. A couple arrows pointing toward CTAs will work wonders, I promise.
- Social & other links: When you get someone to the landing page, you are essentially trying to get them do something. I am assuming that you either want them to buy or learn more about the product to help them buy. I would recommend removing the social buttons. People "like" something they... like! When they are on your landing page they are still evaluating. So asking them to like/share might not be useful.
- Capture a lead: Your ultimate goal is for someone to buy, right? If they are not ready though, you still want to capture them and by offering some lead magnet -- something they would "pay with their email" to download. They are happy they got the valuable piece of information. You are happy because you have their email and can nudge them in the future to keep the conversation going (and they don't just navigate away from your website and never return).

Wow... I didn't expect to write such a long post but hey, anything to help!

Even if you don't want to use the software they have some amazing resources and educational materials.

Hope all of that helps!

George Banis
@gbanis

ActionMan
08-14-2014, 08:33 PM
I would choose a better co-ordinated color pallet. I would also choose similar shapes for various elements on the page. You've got hexagons, rectangles and circles. Perhaps hiring a graphics designer might do you well.

I suggest that you visit review sites for your competitors and make a note of all the features that their customers don't like or are complaining about. Then incorporate all of those on your page and show how you address them or eliminate them. I would also use more than a single page to display all that information. The single page designs look cool but you will get more search engine love and the opportunity to rank pages better if you have multiple pages.

Bring out nice features that you might offer, such as control panels that are easy to use. Show some videos demonstrating how easy they are to use. Have a nice FAQ page. Above all, where are the testimonials from happy customers? You should have pages of them, if available. Put cool features along with related testimonials in scrolling images at the top of the page. That is prime real-estate.

The site looks too "me-too" ish. Again, I would hire a graphics designer to make it different and yet friendly.

SaraWilliamsMurray
08-14-2014, 09:55 PM
Hey Edwin!
Great pages.
Here come the critiques!

1. On the new page - the text highlighted in yellow - "No expensive or special equipment needed." Looks really tacky. There is a way to make this text stand out without looking cheap and disjointed from the rest of the page.

2. The line below the orange main headline - "Your Startups Phone System" is not correct grammatically. "Your Startup Phone System" is better. If the start up is owning the phone system you can do "Your Startup's Phone System."

3. Are start ups really your primary target? I think small business is your primary and startups are a secondary, along with other secondary types of business. This is worth giving some thought to unless you are truly going to JUST go for the startups.

4. Am I seeing style tags on the page? I would highly suggest creating a style sheet to reference. This is kind of the point of CSS, and also allows all the pages of the site to utilize the style sheet with a reference rather than style on the page itself.

5. Meta tags could use some work.

<meta name="description" content="Slingshot is a Cloud Communication Service provider specializing in Hosted PBX and VoIP. We provide 100% guarantee Service because we understand that time is money.">

Your description should solve the consumer's problem and give a phone number or other call to action.

Key words look like they are just brain stormed and not researched. There are several awesome keyword researching tools online that will help you dig deeper and get more competitive keywords.

Here are Vonage's (3rd on google search for VOIP) key words:
<meta name="keywords" content="voip phone service, ip phone, voip, phone service, home phone service, business phone service, local phone service, local calls, international calls, vonage, home phone service, international calling, phone service
" />

6. Since search engine robots read your page from the top down you want relevant info immediately. A key word in your title needs to be in the first line of any text appearing on the page. Also your phone number should be in the title as well as in the first line of the text as it appears on the page.

7. Calls to action need to be clearer. More visible when someone lands. (Check out Vonage's page)

8. The boxes that say "Ballista" "Catapult" and "Railgun" need to link to more info about the plans. I want to click them! :)

I hope that helps!!! Such a tricky thing to get a high converting page.

-Sara Williams Murray
Free You Up, Inc.

bjay99
08-18-2014, 01:50 PM
Thanks George, Action, and Sara for your input... you guys gave me lots to work with.. I will send an update soon!

Wozcreative
08-18-2014, 02:07 PM
Hmm the logo looks very familiar..... 488489490

cathyc100
09-14-2014, 03:34 PM
Hi Edwin,

When I click on the links the page doesn't come up. I would like to
see the pages and offer an help I can.