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greenoak
07-16-2011, 06:52 AM
some poor kid knocked over a huge jar full of several hundred marbles and it sounded like a bomb hit.....marbles and broken glass all over the place....
why do parents think their kids should touch my stuff comes to mind....
a curious kid can do all kinds of damage...usually not that loud and noticable tho!!!

Blessed
07-16-2011, 08:55 AM
As someone with two young kids the type of thing that you described is one of my nightmares anytime I walk into certain stores - the ones I love - local quaint shops, specialty shops, antique stores... I do my best to keep them both contained - but I've got a very active 2-year-old and a very inquisitive 4-year-old. They love to touch stuff, they are learning not to and we haven't caused a significant accident --yet! - but it's a process. Now that my 2-year-old is too big for the stroller (and some of these shops the stroller never worked in anyway) I find that I simply don't visit these places because it's too stressful for me as a Mom. In a couple of years hopefully we'll be able to frequent these types of shops again with the "no touching" rule firmly etched in their minds - but kids are awed by things that are unfamiliar to them - things that we find in these places and they quickly forget things like "don't touch" and just want to discover all they can about stuff - so I have to constantly be on-guard! It's exhausting sometimes :)

Spider
07-16-2011, 09:02 AM
And what harm might one be inflicting upon the development of the child and later inquisitiveness of the adult. I wonder how many adults mght be happier and more successful if they could even now put aside their parents' constant admonitions to "don't touch!"

Blessed
07-16-2011, 09:14 AM
that's why we allow controlled touching :) I'll pick up whatever object it is that my little one wants to see better and let them touch it and look at it - then I put it back. With the explanation of we don't have a place for it in our home so we need to be careful with it so that whoever does have a place for it in their home can have it in the best condition.

We also drink "hot" tea at home out of fine china teacups - and Sugar has chipped her saucer, learning why we need to be so careful with some things.

One of the hardest jobs a parent has is in finding balance - allowing kids to learn, discover, be amazed while at the same time keeping them safe, keeping them from breaking things and damaging other people's property. Teaching them to question, to think outside the box, to look for unconventional solutions while at the same time teaching them to obey, to follow rules and guidelines. Allowing them to mess up and figure out how to make those things right again. To be firm in their convictions and values while at the same time treating others who hold different convictions with respect and being willing to explore other viewpoints making changes as necessary and growing more firm in already held beliefs as necessary too. It's a challenging job, but well worth it!

Patrysha
07-16-2011, 10:20 AM
And what harm might one be inflicting upon the development of the child and later inquisitiveness of the adult. I wonder how many adults mght be happier and more successful if they could even now put aside their parents' constant admonitions to "don't touch!"

How happy can you be being anti-social and not understanding the concepts of appropriateness and respect of personal property? Creating a yes environment at home and providing plenty of positive exploration experiences within their lives is a better plan (in my mind) than inflicting them on the unsuspecting general public untrained.

Then again, I tried really hard to not say DON'T in any rules for children under 10. They don't hear the DON'T. That's just elementary child development.

There were so many things I used to do to ensure our forays into public went well. Trying to schedule for to avoid PHALT issues, going over the three family rules before we walked into a store. Containing them when they were in the wild years incapable of complying (loved my hiking backpack for the late toddler/early preschool stage).

Of course, I don't know that I would've taken them to a store that had glass jars full of marbles...would depend on the aisle size and set up, because I am a total clutz and would be the most likely one to bump something accidentally...

Spider
07-16-2011, 11:38 AM
How happy can you be being anti-social and not understanding the concepts of appropriateness and respect of personal property? Creating a yes environment at home and providing plenty of positive exploration experiences within their lives is a better plan (in my mind) than inflicting them on the unsuspecting general public untrained. ...Absolutely! Learning to touch and learning not to touch are two important lesson, and I would think the third, most importan lesson of all is to know when one and when the other.

I'm not a parent, so that end of things is outside my reference, but my present course of studies into strategic intervention is exposing me very much to the ill effects of parents having got it wrong.

greenoak
07-16-2011, 03:23 PM
right its usually not the kids..
.. its really bad with toys...because they are made for kids.....not my 500$$$ doll please.... one kid broke our 100$$ bubble machine last month...anyway i shooed him out of it , right in front of his dad...and it quit working the next day....

treelifedesigns
07-20-2011, 07:07 PM
ouch - I don't have kids yet, but that would absolutely devastate me if that happened. Yikes!

huggytree
07-22-2011, 04:16 PM
your 49 percent to blame for keeping 300 marbles in a jar for kids to reach

of course every kid is going to be checkout that jar

i have 3 kids (7,5,3) and i am on them constantly when we visit a store like yours....we talk before we go in the door(typically 3x to make sure it sinks in) and i repeat the warning of 'no touch' every 5 mins or so while going through the store...when i see them walk up to something their interested in ill say it yet again.....over and over and over.....

young kids forget the rules quickly when they are excited about something...epecially something that looks like a toy.....like MARBLES

I go w/ my kids to car shows all the time....if my kid even bumps against a car i take them back to our car and the show is over for them....i dont put up with anyone touching my car and i dont put up with my kids touching someone elses....even by mistake....

being tough on them works.....my kids are well behaved in public

now if i could just get the 5 and 7 year olds from fighting and poking each other my family would be perfect....its almost at the point where they cant be in the same room anymore....nothing i say or do improves it......i think time is the only way to improve it at this point

greenoak
07-22-2011, 07:35 PM
well i have stuff all over the store that they can damage.... i have tons of glass and pottery and toys that are delicate..and things with small parts...and knives and machetttes.....its not all under glass.....
we dont have a big problem but hyper little kids not being controlled by their parents is a dreaded thing aronod here... .... and sometimes the parents stay for over an hour , i blame the parents not the kids, when i get damage... .... i do hate to see a bunch of active little kids coming in.... .... its a mess some days....
and i hate when parents yell at their kids in the store ...poeple scatter just to get away from them....
i have so many young families now its a growing problem...im getting better at t elling the parents they have to keep the kids with them....duh..

huggytree
07-22-2011, 08:54 PM
i have gone into antique stores with my kids....but not often....i typically dont yell unless i see them touching something....just a calm voice saying 'remember dont touch.....remember dont touch'...

id post a sign about parents watching their kids.....when families come in id even go as far as to point out your policy to them directly...and verbally tell them any damage is considered a purchase....

most antique stores are just furniture piled up on top of furniture....with small items tucked in between......no place for kids

is there such a thing as an unactive kid?

Spider
07-22-2011, 10:13 PM
Could you set up a (fenced?) play area for small children with a nurse/supervisor where parents are required to leave their children?

If it is set up properly, you could make it desirable for the parents to leave their children there and even make it an attraction for the store. I'm sure most parents would be glad for some child-free shopping and browsing where they are not constantly on edge over their children. A large sign outside the entrance explaining the dangers and risk of injury that could occur if children are not closely supervised would make the point, then turn it into a fun experience - a clown, inflated bouncing room, tricycle races (with wheels partially jammed so they can't go fast and takes a lot of energy to pedal!), ice cream and popsicles.... etc.)

Set up appropriately, you could advertise this free facility and, I'm sure, earn more from the parents' purchases than it costs to provide. In fact, with careful planning, I think this could be an added profit center for your store, AND save you breakages and lost sales from parents who are too busy watching their kids to pay real attetnion to your merchandise.

greenoak
07-23-2011, 08:50 AM
some shops have a no kids policy!!! i sure wouldnt want to attract them with a playground and a nurse...ha ha........ we arent stroller friendly either....
our parents are pretty upscale and usually have fairly well behaved kids.they are at least aware of what i might expect in respect and behavior... ... we arent like walmart...i dont care for a bunch of negative signs....they should know all that...
i do ban dogs...except for 2...king tut...and jackie....both belonging to customers who have been coming for decades....
the real irritators are the ones, guys usually, who brag i want the kid to experience this, and i can pay for it if it breaks...yea if i catch it before you leave and want to have a confrontation and you are in the mood to pay me.... ...lots of the damage can be very silent.... either way i dont want a kid touching the stuff...
our place is huge and people stay for a long time...the kids are really challenged to put up with an hour of being trapped in our store......its not fair to them ...

Spider
07-23-2011, 09:31 AM
So, what will you do?

You don't want to provide facilties to keep the children out of the store.
You don't want to ban children from the store but you don't want them in the store, either.
You ban dogs - but not entirely.
You don't want (or don't expect) parents with children to stay for long but you have not designed the store to be a quick-visit destination.

What DO you want?

I realize you are just venting, Ann, and I understand your predicament, but I'm a man - and when you present a man with a problem, his primal instinct is to try to find a solution for it. There is a solution, of course.

When you're ready.

greenoak
07-23-2011, 10:00 AM
responsible parents....which i do have most of the time...
its a little problem once in a while.... and kind of getting w orse...but not a big one...andits a lot better when school starts...
spider...i love that in men.!!!..especially my dh...who last night spent a lot of time trying to download something to help our video get on facebook.... and then it wasnt compatible with our new windows...poor guy!!!
i was innocent i didnt know...i just took anidea from on here.... he solved everything tho ...after i got his attention on it...
www.facebook.com/greenoakantiques

Spider
07-24-2011, 10:00 AM
Ah! Business is a game. You are not allowed to want responsible parents. The rules of the game say the only things you are allowed to want are things that are in your control! (Or within the control of someone you control - as was demonstrated! :-D)

Blessed
07-25-2011, 12:08 AM
Ann, I have a client who has a huge event twice a year - and we have lots of kids come with their parents. She has signs posted all around that say something along the lines of "unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy" it makes people laugh, then look around and make sure their kids are right there. I realize that this isn't exactly a solution that will work for you but it is a fun way to remind parents that their children have to be kept in control :)